Life Worth Living
by Hinoko.Cari.33
Summary: Cari Higurashi isn't what most people would define as normal. Spirits have always been a problem for her. What happens when they become a problem she can no longer avoid, and she's forced to face her past in more ways than one? Eventual OC x Canon. Story is better than the summary.


**This is my first OC story (well actually really it's my first story), so please be nice. Criticism welcome. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, I only own Cari.**

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**Prologue**

_ Fire. Flames lick at the walls and pour out the windows like inverted waterfalls. I sit motionless in the front lawn as my house is consumed by smoke and fire. I'm crying. Crouched behind the car parked in the front lane, I don't have the courage to move. Soon, I know, the heat will be too much for me to stand, but for now I do nothing, I just stare. Hiccups and sobs escape my lips only to be drowned out by the crackling of the fire and the growing wail of a siren. _

_ Tires scream behind me and suddenly everything is a blur of motion. Blobs of neon orange scatter across the lawn and begin dousing my home; firemen. I am hoisted from my hiding place suddenly and carried away from the fire, away from my home, my family, my life._

I wake with a start, the blaring of my alarm clock so similar to the sirens to my rattled mind that I nearly scream. But my wild flailing has set me off balance and I go tumbling to the floor before the noise can claw its way from my throat. I sit there, breathing hard for the better part of ten minutes, before I pull myself together enough to get ready for the day.

It takes me less time to get ready than it did for me to get over my panic, so I'm down in the kitchen in five minutes. I don't have time to sit down for breakfast, I realise, as I snatch a look at the clock hung over the sink. So instead I grab an apple from the basket next to the microwave and race to the door. I have to run and eat on the fly to make it to class on time, but I do with a minute to spare.

I set my bag down next to my seat and brush my short hair back from my face, though it falls back into place the moment my fingers drop. I take a second before sitting down to check over my uniform.

The grey blazer I wear over my white dress shirt is slightly wrinkled from a night on the floor but is otherwise fine. My socks have sunk down to my ankles instead of being up to my mid-thighs as they should be and one of my shoes has half fallen from my foot. The worst off though is my skirt, the grey material is wrinkled and folded from the run and take a few minutes of adjusting before I deem myself presentable enough to sit down and pull out my things for class.

There's a loud ruckus out in the hall right before the door slams open and people come tumbling into the room. Tatsuki and Orihime, who were already in the room chatting, stop and welcome the large group of people warmly. It's made up of a large group of what most "popular" kids in the school would deem misfits, ranging from the hyper-active Keigo Asano, to calm collected Chad, nerdy Uryu and the – formerly - stoic Ichigo Kurosaki.

Ichigo… He's been my friend since we were children. Or he was my friend when we were children. I have no idea where we stand now, but I'd imagine that we're nowhere near as close as we used to be. But then, that's probably my fault. I'm not the most sociable person around and Ichigo's friends, sociable and kind as they must be, intimidate me to no end. So I haven't really spoken to Ichigo since we started high school and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. He, however, has flourished. His group of friends has gradually expanded over the last year and he seems if not completely happy, then at least more so than before.

Eventually, the teacher walks in and calls the class to order, and the day goes by as it always does. The bell rings, classes start and end, break and lunch flash by and then it's time to leave. I gather my things quickly and am off campus before anyone else has packed up and left the locker rooms.

I haven't thought much since the day started, but on the long walk home things begin to come into focus. It's been years since nightmares stopped being a problem and even longer since I left my old life behind me. There is no explanation for my nightmares, no reason for the sudden revival of old fear and pains, and yet…

I swing open the front door of the house I share with my sister and cousin and am startled when the acrid smell of smoke assaults my nose. There is a horrible, gut wrenching moment of panic, before my sister Rika's coughing pulls me back down to earth. She comes stumbling from the kitchen, coughing and waving her hand in front of her face and trailing smoke.

As far as sisters go, Rika has always been exceptional. I feel bad sometimes, about how I've acted in the past. But then, both of us have long since gotten over it so I push the thoughts aside and move on. But, despite being a great sister, she has her faults. One example is staring me hard in the face as a pass her and march into the kitchen. The stove top is blackened, and the pan placed on it is no better off. Whatever was inside the pan has all but evaporated, leaving nothing but a black crisp in its place.

With a sigh, I grab the pan and place it somewhere to cool before changing my mind and chucking it into the tin garbage bin. There's no salvaging it. The stove is shut off not too long after and I wait for it too cool completely before beginning the long process of cleaning up the mess that has been spread across the kitchen. Rika should know better, sometimes I think she could even burn water. But I know better then to snap at her. She must have had a reason; since she normally lets me or Kanda take care of cooking. So instead of snapping at her the way Kanda probably would, I just smile from beneath my pale brown bangs.

"Why don't we just order a pizza or something tonight?" I suggest.

She fidgets with her hands the moment I bring it up, and I know there's something bothering her; she wrings her hands when she's nervous.

"A-are you sure? I mean… It's their anniversary, after all…"

I sneak a quick glance at the calendar next to the fridge and sure enough there's the date, circled in red: my parent's anniversary. Well that would explain the nightmares…

I'm not sure why we still celebrate it. The most I remember of them is my mother's voice and my father's laugh. But Rika insists. I guess it's because she knew them longer, and better then I ever did… She probably thinks it makes me feel closer to them too.

"Well, I guess it's up to you Sis. It'll be a late diner either way."

She takes ages to respond, but eventually the answer slips from her lips. She's so quiet about it I wonder if she thinks their ghosts are here making sure we celebrate. But of course they aren't, I would know if they were.

"No… t-that's alright. Pizza's good."

We've always been awkward. What with her being so preoccupied with helping raise me that she rarely ever had time for human interaction. As for me, well… bullying isn't good for learning to be social. So I just nod at her answer and move past her to get the phone to order.

The pizza arrives not too long before Kanda gets back from work, so it only spends a couple of minutes in the microwave to stay warm. Kanda, being just a cousin has little to no resemblance to me, unlike Rika who is so alike to me in coloring and build, even with my shorter hair and paler eyes. Kanda is built thin, with long fingers and a sharp, angular face. He's got dark hair and dark eyes, so we don't resemble each other in anyway. He's always seemed so much more solid then me or Rika. But then, we are built to look fragile.

Despite being so physically different though, Kanda and I have always gotten along well. He, like me, can see the ghosts, though not as clearly from what he's told me. Rika's never been able to see them, and I always find myself hoping she never will. She doesn't deserve to be set apart from society that way...

By the end of diner I've done so much thinking I'm just about ready to collapse. But I don't. Instead I leave Rika and Kanda to clean up while I retreat to my room to do homework. I've never had problems doing homework. To me, it's a welcome distraction to thinking. Rika once told me that it's weird that I would find thinking more mentally exhausting than working, but I've always been like this and up until a couple of years ago I thought it was normal.

I put my homework away after a couple of hours. A quick a glance out my window and suddenly the world is on fire again and the house is burning as smoke fills my lungs. I have to look away quickly before I drive myself crazy. Sunsets don't normally set me off, but today has been a bad day. I stand abruptly and grab my shower stuff. I don't normally take long showers, but I need one today. Mercifully, the warm water sooths me and keeps my thoughts from wandering too far or too deep.

When I get back to my room sometime later, the sun is gone and the darkness outside my window blocks the rest of the world from sight. I shut off the light and just crawl into bed, not bothering with hanging my uniform and opting instead for chucking it at my desk chair. Unfortunately sleep isn't coming easily tonight. Too bad, I'd hoped to avoid thinking anymore today. But then, I'd have to get it over with eventually. No time like the present right? ...God I hate that saying…

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**Review please!**


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